Monday, May 17, 2010

When life hands you lemons

I've always been intrigued by the proverb: "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Although I think I understand the point, I've always wondered: why lemons? Why not limes - or pineapples - or lingonberries? But if life still insists on handing you lemons, why limit yourself to making lemonade? How boring.

Apparently, there are others out there who feel the same way I do, because a recent internet search found several other things you can do with those lemons. Here are a few of my favorites:

When life hands you lemons . . . 
  • . . . make grape juice. Then sit back and watch while others try to figure out how you did it.
  • . . . trade them in for some Apples. Macs are better than PCs anyway.
  • . . . it's a trick. Give 'em back, quick!
  • . . . throw them at people you don't like.
  • . . . find someone with fish and chips and share.
  • . . . learn to juggle and run off and join the circus.
  • . . . genetically modify them and use your Super Lemons to take over the world.
  • . . . ask yourself: Who is Life and why is he giving me lemons?
  • . . . rip said lemons in half and jam the wet ends into Life's eyes. That'll teach 'em.
  • . . . save the seeds, plant a lemon orchard, and build your citrus monopoly.
  • . . . find someone who has some tequila (or vodka) and have a party.
  • . . . squirt the juice into the eyes of your enemies.
  • . . . find someone who has some sugar and make a lemon pie.
  • . . . twist some of the peel into a martini. 
  • . . . sell or trade that piece of crap for a VW, baby!
Just to clarify, I don't necessarily believe that life has handed me any lemons lately. I usually take whatever type of fruit I want at the moment. Preferably, something local, organic, and in season. :-)