Sunday, June 13, 2010

Stress-free me

I've been unemployed for a month now, and I'm feeling the need to confess something. I don't miss the stress of working at all! Something is happening to me. Something good! I think it might even be adding years to my life.

About a week ago, I was standing on the deck, just hanging out and cooking some dinner on the gas grill. As I looked out toward the pond and the woods behind the house, it occurred to me: I'm feeling no stress right now. None. Whatsoever. My breathing was . . . normal! Not shallow or forced. That tightness in my chest and neck and shoulders that I've felt for what, ten years or so? Gone! Curiously, I reached up and grabbed some of my hair to give it a little tug, and realized that even my scalp (which has been perpetually tight for years now) was relaxed.

I seriously haven't felt this way since I was about eight or nine years old.

OK, the logical part of my brain tells me I should be worried. No, I should be FREAKING OUT. I should get out there and look for a job NOW!!! I should be paranoid that I don't know where I'm going to be living in a month, or six months, or a year. Blah, blah, blah.

But my gut tells me I'm doing the right thing. It says: "You NEED this break. Take your time. Things will happen just the way they're supposed to, and when you're ready." I realize this may sound like a bunch of New Age hooey to many of my friends out there. But I'm smiling now as I write this. And I'm all relaxed.

It feels wonderful.