Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mitch, please call Bev asap

I had my first experience (since 1989) with the Division of Motor Vehicles (a/k/a "The DMV") today, and it was blog worthy. I'm just not quite sure where to begin, though.

Should I begin with the fact that it's located in the most dreary and run-down old strip mall in one of the most dreary and run-down parts of town?

Or with the fact that I spent 3 hours there just to get my driver's license?

Or that I didn't get my actual license, but rather, got a little piece of paper that's supposed to be some sort of a lame-a$$ substitute until the real one is sent to me in the mail in approximately 20 days?

Or that I spent 3 hours there?

Or that the test is full of questions that have nothing to do with driving? (Sample question: Which of the following should you do in order to be safe while walking at night? A. Walk on the right side of the road with the traffic. B. Walk in the center of the road so drivers can see you. C. Wear white. D. All of the above. Correct answer C. Again, nothing to do with driving.)

Or that it cost me a whopping $32?

Or that the young whippersnapper who assisted me (when it was finally my turn) asked me if I'd ever had an NC driver license before . . . I replied that I had many years ago . . . he looked me up in the computer system and found me . . . and exclaimed: "DANG!!! YOU GOT YOUR LICENSE IN 1980!!! I WASN'T EVEN BORN THEN!!!"

Did I mention I spent 3 hours there?

I've been back in "Cackalacky" about 7 weeks now, and if I recall from my time in Austria, this is about when the excitement of the new place wears off and the culture shock kicks in. Yeah. I'm culture shocked, all right.

Three hours at the DMV is B.S. I recall several years ago in Indiana when there was lots of chatter about the horrible wait times at the BMV (they call it "BMV" in Indiana). Governor Mitch came to the rescue and fixed that mess and now the Indiana BMV is pretty much a well-oiled machine. I got my Indiana driver's license renewed in less than fifteen minutes last year. OK, so maybe a renewal isn't the same as an original. But I sure wish Governor Mitch would give Governor Bev a call and challenge her to do whatever he did there here.

Three hours!!! And that didn't even include the license plate, which I'll have to take another half day off for . . . after I get my real driver's license.